The Shape of a Turtle Chapter 12

Read Fanfic Intro here: Index

I lay in bed, my body full of pain. I can't stand it, but I don't let myself cry out. To let them hear my cry would telling them that I’m breaking, letting them win.

I hold the pain in, never giving in all the way. I was taught well by Master Splinter, and I will not let those teachings fail me now. It’s my hardest fight, but I have to face it. I have to face my own anger.

"You fought well today." I look up to see Mark and Peter standing in my room. "A little too well.  Mokeshan will be feeling pain for weeks and if you do to good tomorrow they will keep you as long as they can. For all you know, your full life."

"But if I don't fight my hardest, Shredder won’t have pity on me."

"Leo, you're in no shape to take out the Shredder."

"Oh yeah, Peter?  What shape should I be in, a shaper?"

"Leo, don't let that anger cloud your mind now, you know what I mean."

I feel bad about what I just said.  "I'm sorry, Peter. I'm just taking this hard. I don't know what to do."

"You know, you might have an idea there though, Leo."

"What do you mean? I can't change my form."

"You think us shapers can't help you." Peter walks towards me. "Tomorrow we will be here in the morning."

"You can't do this fight for me, Killer will find out."

"We're not going to do the fight for you. You'll see once we return." Peter and Mark shape away. I watch, then feel the pain in my shell once more. I have to get my mind off of the fact that Shredder might just kill me tomorrow. This is the worst fight I've ever taken up, the worse time in my life.  Though the biggest question that eats into me is... is Mikey alive?

I get up out of the bed. I need to eat and if I lay down all day long, I would get stiff and the fight would be no good for me. I have to be lose, but I have to be ready to fight.

I wrap up my wounds and go to check in on Mokeshan. By this time she is awake, but laying in bed.

"How are you?" I ask as I step into the room.

She looks at me and smiles slightly.  “I could be better.  You did break my arm."

"I know, and I'm sorry about that." I look down for a second, then look back to her and that smile on her face. "But why are you happy?"

"I'm not going to be a W for the rest of my life. I failed their test, I will have my own life again." I know it was right for Mokeshan to get out of this, she had a normal life before.  Then it hits me.  The worse thought that has ever came to my mind, a pain I don't want to face.

"I'm glad to know you're doing better. Make sure you let me know once you're all the way better, so we could get together again.  You know, a little pizza and some work out in the dojo." I smile faintly.

"As long as you don't die in the morning, Leo."

"I promise, I won’t do that." I turn and walk out. But I immediately bump into Terror.

"That's right, Leo.. You won’t do that!"

"What do you mean?"

"Let's put it this way, turtle, if you die with those blades on your arms, you will be a W forever. The blades will make it so you have no chance of going to heaven, meaning you'll go to hell. And if you go to hell, since my dad is the devil's pet, we will have you forever. So if you even think of letting the Shredder kill you tomorrow, think about being a W forever." Terror turns and walks off. For some reason, he wants me to win, he wants me to be the one taken, but why?

I think of what came to my head while talking to Mokeshan, the reason I should try and take this part of first command. No matter where I go, I'm a freak.  The only family I have are my brothers and Master Splinter. We'll never be able to live a normal life, but Mokeshan and Shredder are both humans, even though they have been evil for years.  The Shapers said they both have a chance.

I can't just give in though. I could never lose my life to evil, to do that will be to really dishonor myself. I will fight the Shredder, but only as much as I have to, to stay alive.

I walk pass the dojo and peak in. Shredder is in there, working out hard.  He wants me dead. I can feel his anger from the hall.  “DAMN TURTLE!" He strikes a punching bag, cutting it in half. "THIS WILL TEACH YOU FOR SAYING IT WAS NAGI'S FAULT!!!" He hits another punching bag, this time without his blades out.  It looked as if he took all the wind of it out, with one punch. I feel myself get sick.  "ALL THOSE YEARS YOU TURTLES HAVE BEEN AFTER ME! FOR JUST TWO KILLINGS! WELL NOW IT'S YOUR TURN!!! YOU WON’T LIVE TO FACE ANOTHER DAY WHEN I'M DONE!!!"

He doesn't know I’m watching, but he really does hold a lot of anger, and he is planning to take it out on me. I know it is going to be a long night.

I walk back to my room, without a word, and down to take better care of my wounds.  I know if I don't this fight may even, as hard as it sounds, get worse. The Shredder is now the last of my cares.  I have to make sure I don't die.  I don't want to be a W forever.

After tending more to my wounds, I start to work with using my blades.  I fear the fight, but I don't want to show it to anyone. If I break out with any fear or anger, Killer will know that these blades are working on me. I can feel it breaking through, though. I can't hold all this anger back forever, but I’m at least going to try.

My blades start to burn.  It can feel the fear in me. It’s as if the blades themselves were alive and I could feel them trying to take me out. It’s a battle inside of me on if I can keep control or if I’m not as good a warrior as I think. The blades are a hard fight, the problem is these blades know my angers and my fears, making it all come forward. Stuff like the thought of Mikey being either near death or dead, and I didn't know, keeps me up at night. And if Master Splinter still has trust in me, or the face of Donatello losing belief of getting me back, and worse of all, the anger of Raphael, all of it is biting and chewing at me. It’s all those thoughts that I can't place at the back of my mind no matter how hard I try.

After a hard workout, I take a fast shower and grab a bite to eat, before coming back to my room to try to get a good night’s sleep. I lay down, still with lots of hard thoughts tearing at me.  I’m not going to be able to fall asleep right away, my thoughts won’t let me.

I get up and grab a book from the shelf. I look at the title, "The Cat Who Sniffed Glue."  It’s a mystery story.  I've always loved mysteries.  Once I start reading, my mind settles down from  my troubles.  Around the middle of chapter three, I fall asleep, without a thought in my mind aside from what's going to happen with Koko and Yum yum.

The next morning I wake up, the first thought on my mind is of the book.  I pick it up and start to read more. It doesn't hit me at first that this is the day of the fight.

Then Blades walks in my room.  "Oh good you're up, Leo." Blades says, walking over to me. "You got two hours before the fight."

Oh no.  He brings the facts of real life to my face again. Today is the fight, the day I don't want to come because I don't want to win or lose this fight.

"Thank you, Blades, I didn't realize how time flies." I stand up and walk to the door. I know I have to get a good breakfast in me or I would feel it throughout the fight, but nothing too strong that would make my me sick in any way.

After getting a little bit of food in me, I go to the dojo, bringing a drink with me.  Before I can even step fully inside, I hear Terror and Shredder talking.

"Don't kill that Turtle! If you kill Leo, Shredder, then it's going to be you in trouble. I don't care if you get an opening for a kill, I don't want the Turtle dead, or even near dead. If you win the fight, then get him down, and that's it!"

"You don't understand! My brother will not be at rest until ALL THE ONES THAT FIGHT FOR YOSHI IS GONE!!!!!"

"Shredder, your brother is well at rest. He's been dead for years. You killed his murderer.  That's all you had to do."

Shredder walks towards Terror, his eyes pure evil.  I can tell from across the room that the blades had control.  “If that Turtle falls in front of me, than I'LL TELL YOU! HE WON’T BE ALIVE!!! I promise that!" Shredder walks over to the punching bag.

I take a drink from my Rock n'Rye, thinking back to how Mikey used to have this drink with his pizza at our birthday party.  He called it his lucky drink. Well today, I hope this drink brings some luck to me.

"I'm here." I say as I walk further into the dojo.. "Now lets get this over with."

Shredder smiles towards me.  "I've been waiting for this, Shell Back!" Shredder walks up to me. "We end our fight today, for you won’t be standing at the end." He is so sure of himself, he thinks there’s no way I can win. The blades burn inside me.  I feel like punching him right there, but I hold it back.

"Shredder, this fight has nothing to do with our past.  Think what would happen if you win."

"Are you saying you want to win?" Shredder stops and looks at me, as if he was going to fall over laughing, even at the thought of me defeating him.

That question passes through my head. I look down. "No Shredder, I don't want to win. And I don't want to die."

"Well it's one or the other, Shell Back!"

I glance at him, looking him dead in the eyes. I can see the evil in him, more than I've ever seen in him before.  “Then I guess I'll have to win."

Shredder starts laughing.  "Oh, by the way.." he says, laughter still in his voice. "... if you do win...make sure you finish me off."

I look at the Shredder, as he still laughs.  He must not have known what Terror told me, he thinks death is freedom.

Just then Killer and Terror walk up, Mokeshan and Blades following behind them.

"You two ready?" Killer asks as he takes a seat to watch the fight. I walk forward and bow to him, as a true ninja should, Shredder just stands there.

"Hai, we're ready."

Killer smirks.  “Good, then let the fights begin.  The one that comes out standing is the winner. No killing!"

I turn and face Shredder. It’s time for our fight, but I don't want to fight. I am still in pain from fighting Mokeshan. Shredder on the other hand is okay.

"You ready to die, Turtle?" Shredder smirks as we bowed towards each other.

"I'm ready for you Shredder, and I won’t die."

"Begin now!" Killer says, picking up a bag of popcorn as if he's going to watch a movie, not caring who wins.

Shredder comes right at me.  His blades shining as they come down across my face. I wasn't ready for that, as I feel it cut, just missing my eyes. He goes to do it again, this time I get my blades up in time.

As his blades hits mine, I feel a sharp pain. Using my other hand, I hit him with my blades, cutting him in the gut. Shredder doesn't move, as if the pain didn't bother him.  He is going to kill me if it is the last thing he does. My fate is sealed.  I am to be killed by the Shredder.  I feel sick. I don't want to be here.

I see how close we are and it gives me an idea.  I grab his left arm with my right hand, turning around and getting Shredder on my shell.  It takes but few seconds before I have Shredder flying across the room.

Shredder gets up back to his feet quickly, looking as if he is able to just shake the pain off. I watch him charge me, then I feel the blood coming down over my eyes. I move out of the way of Shredder just in time, then wiped the blood from my eyes.

The blades start to burn.  They want me to be like Shredder, not think before moving, but I’m not going to let that happen. I jump kick Shredder from behind.  He falls to the ground again. I jump on top of him, holding my blade to his throat.

Before I can make another move, Shredder throws me off of him. I land against a wall. I feel as if it just cracked the back of my shell. Shredder stands over me as I try to recover. Seeing him standing there, I know he is going to try and kill me.

Forgetting the pain, I jump to my feet. I kick Shredder in the face. His head snaps back,, but he is still able to stand his ground. I bring my blades out and cut into his right arm. He then cuts me in the same place that Raph's sais went in. I feel the pain of the old wound opening.

I start to feel like I am going to fall to the ground.  I can't stand on my feet. I am losing too much blood. But if Shredder wins, I will be dead. I hold the pain inside and knock Shredder to the ground. Landing on top of him, the blades take over.  I don't care if Shredder lives anymore, I just care that I don't die.

I punch Shredder hard in the face, knocking him unconscious. I bring my blades up to finish him off. Can I do this? I try to pull back, but I can't.
I hate the Shredder so much, I just want him dead.

Chapter 13 / Index / Chapter 11

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