The Shape of a Turtle Chapter 6

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Part 6

I got mad, real mad at Terror after that night. No matter how hard I tried to forget how he laughed after my brothers left, I couldn't forget it. It happened, and there's nothing that can take it back. I was mad at Terror before for keeping me here, but now this is just getting me even madder, for he is making my brothers lose all trust in me.

I train harder and harder with my katas and even do some sparring to keep myself busy. The blades in me burn.  I start to enjoy the pain. It’s as if it is a part of me. And after awhile, it does become part of me.

On one day, while sparring with Shredder, I take him down with no sign of any care. I would have finished him off if Terror hadn't come in the room.

Shredder backs away from me, I see the fear in his eyes and it made me feel good. I look over towards Terror, who smiles and walks towards me. "It's time for you to do some real work now, Turtle. You have more than proven yourself to me."

At first, I felt like this is great. I proved myself, but then it hits me, what have I proven myself for?

It’s been a week since that night when Terror told me that I had proven myself to him.  He gives me my first real job. It was in the U.S. An ice cream place called Cherly's in the L.A. area. I’m to go there, take some cash and kill all of the people inside the place. Blades is to come with me.

When we get there, I can feel a fire growing inside of me.  It keeps me going, making sure I do as I have been told. As I walk in, I slice my sword into someone standing near the door.  I watch him fall to the ground, dead. I stop to look, trying think of what I’m doing, but the fire inside of me grows even more. I walk further into the place.

"Everyone against the wall!" I yell and they all run to the wall, except for one person. This teenager looks up from the table he is sitting at.

"I'll move after I'm done with my ice cream." He says.

I walk towards him, bringing my sword down near him. "I said against the wall! Now!!!"

The teen looks up at me and almost laughs aloud. "You have to be joking me, mister.  I'm not moving. And what's with the turtle costume?  I watch that show and I know if you wear a costume like that you should be doing better stuff than robbing an ice cream shop. I mean come on, you're wasting your time here. The Ninja Turtles are heroes not zeroes."

"Mikey, are you mad?? Get over here, before that W kills you!" A lady yells from against the wall.

"I'll die before I give in to a W wearing a turtle costume."

Then the voice of this Mikey gets to me.  He isn't my brother, I know that, but boy did he sound like Michaelangelo. I look at him, realizing that I have met him before, but he didn't know I was a Turtle. This kid use to go to Roy's and was a friend of Michaelangelo’s. I can't kill him, he’s a friend.

I want to back away, out of the shop, but the pain and the fire in me grow to where I can't stand the thought of him not fearing me. I bring my sword down at him with no care if he lives or dies.

He stares up at the sword then catches it with his hands. This has to be a dream.

I pull my sword back and trip over something as I step back. I look around to see the one lady with a shocked look on her face as she looks at Mikey.

"You lost yourself, Leo. You gave in to the blades and therefore your brothers have no one to look too or count on. They will never learn of who you are and how much you need their help." I look  to see the kid turtle, he is what I tripped over. I stand up.

"Who cares?! You don't seem to be helping me!!! You just watch and try telling me what to do!!!! I need help!!!"

"You should care, Leo. I may not be the help you need, because I see I should not step into this fight, it's not mine. You have to fight this and you have to fight it on your own until you have your brothers help. That is when I will help you. Once you can regain your brothers’ trust." I drop my head, then I look at Blades standing behind me.  He doesn't say a word, he just watches.

"I have a job to do." I say backing out of this. I know if I don't do this job, I will have problems back at the W HQ.

"I might not be able to help you, but I can stop you when it is needed." The little turtle starts to change forms in front of my eyes. He grows taller, reaching my height.  Then his body shifts to look almost like Terror except that his skin is black not red and his eyes were white. He wore peace signs in three different areas. "Remember, Leonardo, I'm your friend and right now you are your own worst nightmare." I swear he sounds like my voice talking back to me. Mark is now what I saw as why Terror said I'll have a bigger job.  He is one of the Shapers we were being sent out to find.

I stop and look at myself. I see someone I never wanted to become. I killed almost every time Terror sends me out lately. I have not been nice to anyone, not even Blades and I just yelled at Mark.  He's the only one on the outside who knows what wrong with me and that it's me. To fight him would let the only one that trusted me on the outside down, but not to fight him would mean the end of New York, my home, my friends and family. I have to fight, but I really don't want to fight him.

The truth of what is going on hits me hard in the face. I just stand there, looking at Mark, the Shaper that they wanted.  The thing that kept the W's here. Why can't they just leave Earth and let us be? Why do they hide within our world?

Mikey steps up next to Mark. "Hey Mark, need some help dude?" I swear he sounded like Michaelangelo talking, but I use to say that when he was in New York. What was he doing here in L.A? The lady at the wall yells at Mikey, telling him to get against the wall and save his life. But Mikey didn't listen to her, he’s with Mark and they both were going to stand up to me. I have to do what I have to do.

I hold my sword tight in front of me. "Forgive me for what I'm about to do. I don't want to hurt you, but I have no choice. I must do as I'm told." I bring my sword down at Mark.  He reaches out and grabs my sword.

"First thing you should learn, Leo, is that cutting us doesn't always work."

"Meaning it does sometimes, huh?" I bring my other sword into his side, but he just stands there as if he doesn't feel any pain. "Doesn't that hurt you?" I look at the wound.  Something is wrong here.  He’s not going to fall, meaning I would be the one to fall.

Blades goes at Mikey, bringing his bo down at Mikey.  He steps out of the way and laughs towards Blades.  "Is that the best you can do?" Mikey says smiling. Blades looks at Mikey and you could tell they’ve met before. Blades gets mad and tries to hit him again. "Come on, dude. What would Davy do if he saw you trying to kill me?" Blades jumps at Mikey, doing a flying kick.  Mikey steps to the side again, laughing. "Come on, you were taught better than that, did you forget your teachings?"

I look at Mark standing in front of me. "Why do I feel this fight is useless?"

"Because you're learning, Leo. You're starting to see the truth of what they're doing to you. You're only hope is to let the truth fill your head. Hold your anger back and say that is what troubles you. Don't let Terror get you mad. You should have heard that anger clouds the mind and to turn inward, your movie said it, you should have listened to it. Don't let the anger cloud your mind." I look back at Blades, the anger has clouded his mind and he was losing to an easy fight.

"I'm so sorry, Mark. What do I do?"

"You must stand your ground and think of what is right to do. You have two choices and one is to retreat."

"But I don't want to feel the pain or lose New York City because of failing. Please help me."

"Then you have made your choice, we must fight until you retreat." Just then the door swings open. I go to look to see who was coming in, but one of the voices told me who it was.
"eeeww what happened to this dude."

"It looks like he got hit by the Shredder." I glance back to see the other turtles.  Raphael in the lead, Don and Mikey following behind. I step back and they look right at me. "Who ever left us that hint about the clone Leo being here was right. Let's get him. He may be the only one who can tell us where Leo is."

They jump at me, Raph holds his sais in hand. I go to move out of the way, but I’m too slow and Raph gets me. The sais go through my shell. I fall to the ground, feeling it break.

Raph stands over me, putting his foot on me. Mark and Mikey back away into the shadows.
I lay on the ground looking up at Raph as things start to go dark, I’m having a hard time seeing him, but I can feel his foot on me and the pain in my shell. Tears from the excruciating pain run down from my eyes.

I see figures step behind Rap., I couldn't make them out, but I could tell who they are still. It’s Mikey and Don. Raphael kneels down and puts a sai to my throat.

"Where is our Leonardo?!" I roll my eyes and try to talk.  I feel blood come up my throat instead. I try again, then break out spitting up blood. "WHERE IS LEONARDO!!!!!"

I try to talk again and feel the pain as more blood comes up, but this time I get some words out.  “I...I am...Leo...Leonar..Leonardo." I say with all the pain in me crying out. My body yells at me to no talk. I look again towards my brothers, Raph's eyes glare back at me.

"I'm not putting up with this! I want our Leo back! I miss him, and you know where he is!"

"Please..." I take a shaky breath, trying to finish my line.."believe me... Raph.. help.. .the pain... I ..I.." I close my eyes, the pain was too much. I try to tell the truth, but the truth itself is so dark and hard to believe. It is a dark truth, but it has to be told. I can't talk now, and I know if they took me trouble would be caused. I open my eyes to get my last look at them " broth...ers ..go." I close my eyes, hearing the last so many words spoken by my brother.

"Hey... wake up... are you really Leo?"

"Why would he tell us to leave him if he was a clone?"

"Ah dudes, if it's really Leo than we shouldn't leave him."

"But he asked?" Then all goes quiet as I hear Don's words.

I wake to a warm hand resting on my head. "It's him my sons." I look up to see the face I've missed so much.

"Master..." I can't finish talking, I hurt so much. Splinter look at me and the other stood around.   Raph falls back from the others.  Seeing it is me, he must be regretting what he had done.

"You'll be ok, my son."

"I... I...." Stopping for a breath, I try to finish my line. "must go..."

Splinter looks at me.  "What are you talking about, my son. You're in no shape to travel and you're safe here." I know Splinter doesn't want me to leave, but all I can think about is what Terror will do if I don't return. "You have been down for over 24 hours, Leonardo, we thought we were going to lose you. You must rest now, my son."

I try to sit up, but my arms won't move. The pain stops me from moving at all and talking hurts more than I want to try.

Donatello comes over and starts to take care of my wounds. "Master Splinter, will he be ok?"

"I believe so, but we must let him rest." They get up and leave me lying here. All but Raphael.   He stands in the dark corner of the room. His sais were not on his belt, which is very rare to see.

He walks towards me and sits down after everyone was out of the room.  "Leo, I'm sorry about this. I was going to kill you. I still can't believe it's you." Raphael gets up then looks down at me. "Once you can talk, you're going to have a few questions to answer like, WHY?"

Raph turns and walks out of the room. In his eyes I saw anger and depression. If I die, Raph will blame himself.  Though, maybe it'll be better if I’m dead, maybe it would take me out of all this. I think of that again and again, but as the Ninja I am, to let myself die would be dying without honor.

It’s just a few hours before the pain starts. Terror is trying to call me back, but the pain doesn't help at all. I let out a loud scream of pain. Splinter and Raphael come running in, followed closely by Don and Mikey. I cry out again, trying to get out bed. I have to get back to W HQ or the pain will never stop, and I don't know how much time he will give me before destroying New York. I look up at Splinter, making myself talk with all the pain, pulling and tearing at me.

"Master Splinter, I have no choice I must leave! I have to go now, it could cost New York if I don't leave!"

Splinter sees the pain in my eyes, he knows wherever I have to go to is what is causing the pain.

"You are on a journey that we can not help with, Leo?" Raph says walking up behind me. "Leo, we're a team.  If you need help, we're here for you, dammit!!"

"I can't bring you there...I.. I.. have no..." I close my eyes, the pain is too great. I need help getting there, but to ask my brothers would bring them into danger. I open my eyes to see Raph pacing back and forth. I reach up and push myself out of bed.   With all the pain in me, I can't help but let out another scream of pain. Raphael looks me dead in the eyes.

"Leo! You can't do this without us! We're a TEAM!! We work together! You wouldn't let me do stuff on my own, it's time I fight against you doing so!" Raphael walks over and grabs his sais, still with my blood on them.

"Raph.. you..can't come. It's too much danger, that not even I can get away from." I swing my legs over to the side of the bed and try to stand on them. As I get up, my legs fall out from under me in pain. I can't stand. I do need help, but to take Raph would have a big fight all the way there, to take Mikey would put my youngest brother in too much trouble. I look at Donatello,.I need him. "Don" I say, reaching up to him, "can you take me back to LA?" Donatello grabs my hand and helps me up. "Thank you...."

We get stuff to wear and go to the airport. The pain slows me down so much. I just couldn't stop thinking if I'm too slow, when will he destroy my home. We get onto a cargo plane going to LA. Donatello looks at me as soon as we get on the plane.

"What's going on, Leo? You didn't even tell Master Splinter."

"It's hard for me to talk, Don.... too much pain to tell right now. I just need to say, I need your guys’ help.. save me." I close my eyes as we sit on the plane and fall asleep.

When the plane lands, Don gets me back to the W HQ. "It may be moved from here by tomorrow, Donny. I hope to see you soon, remember I need all my brothers to help me, even Master Splinter."

"We're here for you, Leo." With those words, I pull myself into the building as trying to stand is useless.  My legs can't hold me.  My eyes are filled with the pain. Once I reach the door, I look back as Donatello gets out of sight. "Goodbye, Leonardo, we're here for you, always."

I can't even knock on the door, the pain is just too much. I try to move my arm one last time to knock, but I pass out.

When I wake, it all feels like a dream, besides for the fact that I still have the pain from the sais going into me. I look up to see Terror standing there, "Your brothers now know, don't they?"

"Yes, they now know that I am the only Leo out there. You can no longer hold that over my head. I am free of one of your....." I suddenly feel as if I can't breathe, more blood comes up.  I know I shouldn't talk anymore, not until the blood stops. The two areas the sai cracked through the shell at holds the pain in me. I feel it as if they are killing me off.

As time passes, my wounds heal. I look to the window of my new room as the days go by. I know my brothers are out there, and looking for me. Did Donatello think of staying around and following the W's when we moved or did he just leave? I wasn’t never awake when we moved.  It all seemed to happen when I slept.

The pain from the sai hangs over me for weeks. I know my brother didn't mean to hurt me, so I don't hold it against him.

I have found myself and faced the dark truth, but to get away from this truth that I live, I must fight a hard battle. I can't do it alone. Once I heal, I must find my brothers and come up with an idea of how to win this fight.  A fight many say will never be won, but they are wrong. As Mikey told me years ago, I have to follow my heart, and that I will do. My heart is telling me to find the way home.

 Chapter 7 / Index / Chapter 5

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